Children’s emotional well-being during their early years has a powerful impact on their social relationships. Children who are emotionally healthy are better able to establish and maintain positive relationships with adults and peers (Trawick-Smith, 2014). Social-emotional development is essential to a young child’s sense of well-being. The relationships they form early on help shape who they are, who they become, and their understanding of the world. Think about some of the children in your own life and the different social-emotional skills they display.
Preschool-age children are learning to talk about their feelings and the feelings of others. Social-emotional development, however, involves more than just expressing emotions. It involves taking turns, becoming independent in following routines, interacting more with peers, engaging in meaningful relationships with others, controlling emotions, and developing a positive self-image. These skills are crucial for children’s successful participation in school and home experiences and for their overall growth.
Social-Emotional Milestones
Social and emotional development include behaviors that represent children’s emotional growth and their ability to successfully navigate their world through interactions with adults and peers. Since these skills develop together, this area of development is referred to as social-emotional development. Social-emotional milestones focus on children’s developing abilities to regulate their attention, emotions, and behavior, and to form positive relationships with adults and peers.
The chart below highlights social emotional development during the preschool years. Remember that individual differences exist when it comes to the exact age at which children may meet these milestones. As highlighted in the Cognitive, Physical, and Communication courses, milestones are not checklists with which to judge children’s development. Rather, they provide a guide for when to expect certain skills or behaviors to emerge in young children, so you are prepared to meet their changing needs. Think of these milestones as guidelines to help you understand and identify typical patterns of growth and development in preschoolers. Although the skills mentioned in the chart will develop in a predictable sequence over the preschool years, each child is unique in when they will master each skill. Your goal is to help all children grow and learn to their potential.
Social-Emotional Developmental Milestones in Preschool
Age 3
Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people
Copies adults and friends
Notices other children and joins them in play
Shows affection for friends without prompting
Shows concern for crying friend
Shows a wide range of emotions
Calms down within 10 minutes after you leave
May get upset with major changes in routine
Age 4
Interested in new experiences
Pretends to be something else during play (teacher, dog, superhero)
Make-believe play is more creative and complex
Dresses and undresses self
Would rather play with other children than alone
Can name two or more friends
Comforts others who are hurt or sad
Cooperates with other children
Often can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
Talks about what they like and what they are interested in
Likes to be a “helper”
Changes behavior based on where they are
Avoids danger, like not jumping from tall heights on the playground
Age 5
Wants to please friends
Wants to be like friends
Follows rules when playing games with others
Takes turns when playing games with other children
Remember that expectations about developmental milestones are driven by cultural values and preferences. For example, in some cultures, children are not expected to feed themselves independently until they are 3 or 4 years old. In other cultures, children are expected to start eating independently in early infancy and toddlerhood. Theorist Lev Vygotsky said that adults share their cultural values and beliefs with children through daily interactions. Ideas, beliefs, and expectations about child development are just some of the ways cultures are unique. Becoming aware of and respecting these differences can help you better understand how families’ experiences help shape the preschoolers in your classroom.
If you are concerned about a child’s development, talk with your trainer, coach, or administrator first. Share your observations of the child’s behavior and the reasons you are concerned. Your trainer, coach, or administrator may choose to observe the child and set up a meeting with the child’s family. In some situations, families might be encouraged to contact their local school district, which can arrange a free evaluation of the child’s development and can help the child get any needed help and services.
Preschoolers and Social-Emotional Development
It is important to notice that milestones are associated with different aspects of social-emotional development. Some are associated with children’s ability to engage in relationships with others and others are related to children’s abilities to regulate their emotions. Let’s take a closer look at these and how they relate to preschool development.
Relationships with others: Preschool-age children engage in pretend play with friends and use words and sentences to express their feelings and thoughts. Even though they may still need adult support to share toys and materials with friends, they improve on their own as time passes. Preschoolers also progress in their ability to understand and appropriately respond to their friends’ feelings. Children with healthy social-emotional development have a balance of all these components.
Self-awareness: Preschool-age children improve their ability to control their bodies during different activities throughout the day (e.g., sitting at circle time or playing in the gym). They learn to take turns and have conversations with peers, acknowledge and use their own names and the names of others, and self-evaluate and know when they made appropriate or inappropriate choices.
Emotional regulation: Preschool-age children display a variety of emotions in different ways. For example, they may use words to share their feelings such as “I am upset”, they may match facial expressions to happy, mad or sad, or they may laugh when excited. At the same time, they also improve their ability to manage their emotions to match the situation and environment and to control their emotions (e.g., separate easily from family members). Although preschoolers are better than toddlers at regulating emotions, they still need a great deal of help and practice with developing these appropriate behaviors.
Independence: Preschoolers with a healthy sense of independence will follow predictable daily routines and activities at school and at home. They may start identifying a favorite friend and ask that friend to play or independently play with toys and materials at home, school, or an outdoor playground. Additionally, preschoolers developing a sense of independence may complete many self-care tasks, such as getting dressed, going to the bathroom, eating snacks, feeding themselves, or getting ready for bed. Independent preschoolers will also tell caregivers about their day and learn and use new vocabulary.
Emotional Literacy
Emotional literacy is a child’s ability to label and talk about their own emotions or feelings, as well as the feelings and emotions of others. This is an essential component of social-emotional development because it helps children understand their own emotional experiences and, at the same time, helps them to acknowledge and understand the emotional experiences of others. Emotional literacy helps children solve problems and regulate their own emotions; these skills are essential for success in preschool and beyond. Children who label, talk about, and are aware of their emotions are more likely to focus on and engage in classroom routines and activities and less likely to become easily frustrated, have excessive tantrums, or act impulsively.
Many children learn to identify and discuss emotions through interactions or conversations with responsive adults in the context of positive relationships and supportive environments. In your work at a preschool program, you should embed opportunities for social skill development throughout the day. For example, you can share your emotions about events or experiences and encourage children to share their own emotions. You can also read books that discuss emotions or social interactions. In the Apply section of this lesson, you will find additional examples of resources and activities you can use to foster children’s emotional literacy.
Supporting the Social-Emotional Development of Children in Preschool
Children learn social-emotional skills in the context of their relationships by watching, imitating, and responding to the social behaviors of others. Children also learn from the way others respond to their emotions. Social-emotional skills are closely connected to a child’s family, cultural background, and early experiences. Children learn by interacting and forming relationships with members of their families, schools, and communities.
As highlighted in Lesson One (Social-Emotional Development: An Introduction), social-emotional learning begins in infancy and adults are the most influential models for young children. Caregivers who understand their infants’ emotional cues and respond immediately and sympathetically have infants who are less fussy and easier to soothe. The same happens with preschoolers; if caregivers validate children’s feelings, address their needs, and are responsive and supportive, preschoolers are better able to communicate their needs and emotions and are more likely to demonstrate healthy social-emotional development.
Healthy social-emotional development is highly associated with responsive caregiving. Responsive caregivers:
provide support and positive feedback
offer stimulating materials
play and engage with children
share events and experiences
follow children's lead
identify children's interests and facilitate their learning
plan meaningful opportunities throughout the day to help children practice and learn social skills.
As you read this section, think about the role you play in fostering healthy social-emotional development for the children in your care. In Lessons Three and Four, you will learn additional strategies to support the social-emotional development of all preschoolers.
See
Do
Preschool-age children in your care need daily opportunities to participate in activities that help them learn new social-emotional skills or practice existing skills in fun, stimulating, and supportive environments. You should purposefully use strategies throughout your day to support young children’s social-emotional development. Understanding developmental milestones is an important aspect of working with young children. Learning and understanding how preschoolers develop social-emotional skills and competence will help you foster their social-emotional learning and determine what kinds of experiences to plan in your classroom and program. You will find additional resources to foster children’s social-emotional competence in the Apply section. Consider the following in your daily work with preschoolers:
Be responsive to children’s attempts at interaction and build on what children say.
Engage in frequent, developmentally appropriate social interactions with children and adults in your classroom throughout your daily experiences and routines.
Follow each child’s lead, cues, and preferences.
Include emotion words in conversations with children.
Make books available that discuss feelings and social interactions.
Ask children meaningful questions about their actions, interests, events, and feelings.
Encourage children to use their words and talk to their peers when conflicts arise. Use developmentally appropriate language and provide conversation models and cues for children to follow if they need help solving a problem.
Ensure you are sensitive to children’s unique needs, experiences, and backgrounds.
Reach out to children’s families and be responsive to their beliefs and preferences
Observing preschool children in their learning environment is the best way to see which children are developing strong social-emotional skills and which ones need support. While thinking about the preschoolers in your program, highlight the behaviors you notice and think about the ways you can support children’s social-emotional skills. Complete the Observing and Supporting Social-Emotional Skills activity and share and discuss your responses with a trainer, coach, or administrator.
Use the resources in this section to learn more about young children’s social-emotional development and the ways you can support the preschoolers in your care. The resources include a support guide that may be useful for families.
Dunlap, G., & Powell, D. (2009). Promoting social behavior of young children in group settings: A summary of research. Roadmap to effective intervention practices #3. Tampa, Florida: University of South Florida, Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention for Young Children. Cengage Learning.
Reaching milestones, like sharing toys and taking turns, trying new things, and learning to manage strong emotions, are going to make a big difference in your child's school success.
Reading and discussing children's books is an excellent way to invite children to identify the characters' emotions and relate the characters' experiences to their own (Roberts & Crawford 2008). To introduce a new social or emotional skill, Ms. Coz carefully chooses high-quality books to read aloud at circle time.
Play is important for all areas of preschooler development, including emotional development. Through play, preschoolers can practise managing strong emotions like excitement, anger and frustration. Play ideas to develop preschooler emotions include sand play, dress-ups, music, drawing, reading and outdoor play.
Puppets. Teachers sometimes talk with children about conflicts and help them think about solutions while using puppets and families can try this technique at home. ...
Preschool social-emotional skills include being able to get along and cooperate with others, manage strong feelings, focus attention, and persist at challenging tasks. These skills deserve focused attention during the preschool years because they are critical for long-term school and life success.
In their first few years of life, young children acquire social and emotional skills, such as regulating emotions, sharing with others and following instructions. These skills lay the foundation for developing literacy, numeracy and other cognitive abilities that are critical for success in school and life.
Beginning early in life, social and emotional learning (SEL) is highly important for helping preschool children to understand and manage their emotions, feel and show empathy for others, establish healthy relationships, set positive goals, and make responsible decisions.
Social-emotional development, however, involves more than just expressing emotions. It involves taking turns, becoming independent in following routines, interacting more with peers, engaging in meaningful relationships with others, controlling emotions, and developing a positive self-image.
Responding to emotions might involve acknowledging how a child is feeling, encouraging them to accept their emotion or providing comfort. Regularly using words related to feelings and emotions around children may help them understand their own and others' feelings.
There are three main strategies teachers working with preschool age children can promote social and emotional competence: Teaching or helping children learn to recognize and deal with emotions. Teaching or helping children learn to recognize and solve social problems. Teaching or helping children learn to be friends.
CASEL defines SEL as building skills to develop healthy identities; manage emotions; achieve personal and collective goals; feel and show empathy for others; establish and maintain supportive relationships; and make responsible and caring decisions.
Great activities for social and emotional development
Playing games with clearly defined rules. Regardless of age, children learn social skills and develop emotional intelligence most effectively through play. ...
Role playing. Children often fail to understand that their actions affect others. ...
Develop friendships. Express more awareness of other people's feelings. Enjoy imaginative play with other children, such as dress up or house. Get better at sharing and taking turns with other children.
Social activities that involve doing for others or providing a service in order to help. Social activities that involve imagination and the creation of different realities. Examples: watching theater, singing, painting, crocheting, learning about arts and craft, traveling and sightseeing, and bird watching.
Social-emotional development consists of three main areas of children's self-regulation: Acting: Behaving in socially appropriate ways and ways that foster learning. Feeling: Understanding others' emotions and regulation of one's own emotions. Thinking: Regulating attention and thoughts.
Parents and caregivers play the biggest role in social/emotional development because they offer the most consistent relationships for their child. Consistent experiences with family members, teachers and other adults help children learn about relationships and explore emotions in predictable interactions.
SEL is beneficial to both children and adults, increasing self-awareness, academic achievement, and positive behaviors both in and out of the classroom. From an academic standpoint, students who participated in SEL programs saw an 11 percentile increase in their overall grades and better attendance.
Social-emotional learning is the process through which children develop skills that help them understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.
Playing board games together and taking turns talking about your day at dinner time are two great ways to begin teaching little ones how to take turns. Help your child learn how to express his emotions, understand them, and learn self-control.
Develop friendships with other kids. Compare themselves to other children and adults. Understand other people's thoughts and feelings. Initiate or join in play with other children and make up games.
During this year your child really starts to understand that their body, mind and emotions are their own. Your child knows the difference between feeling happy, sad, afraid or angry. Your child also shows fear of imaginary things, cares about how others act and shows affection for familiar people.
Teachers shape the tone of the classroom, model kindness and problem solving, and help children learn to manage emotions and gain the social skills needed to form healthy relationships. Teaching and caring for young children is also emotionally demanding work.
Be a role model - Kids learn about feelings and how to express them appropriately by watching others. Show your child how you're feeling about different situations and how you deal with those feelings. Encourage with praise - Praise your child when they talk about their feelings or express them in an appropriate way.
Teachers actively teach children about different emotions and feelings. Teachers actively teach children how to recognise emotions in themselves and others. Teachers actively teach children how to express their emotions appropriately. Teachers comment on or ask questions about how children are feeling.
Loving, stable and responsive relationships are fundamental to your child's development. Through relationships, children learn how to think, understand, communicate, behave, express emotions and develop social skills.
Social and emotional development in the early years, also referred to as early childhood mental health, refers to children's emerging capacity to: Experience, regulate and express a range of emotions.Develop close, satisfying relationships with other children and adults.Actively explore their environment and learn.
Develop friendships. Express more awareness of other people's feelings. Enjoy imaginative play with other children, such as dress up or house. Get better at sharing and taking turns with other children.
Social development is the process through which children learn to build relationships. It involves learning the values, knowledge, and skills necessary to understand how to get along with others. Everyday experiences at home support children's developing social skills.
Social-emotional development consists of three main areas of children's self-regulation: Acting: Behaving in socially appropriate ways and ways that foster learning. Feeling: Understanding others' emotions and regulation of one's own emotions. Thinking: Regulating attention and thoughts.
This development influences a child's self-confidence, empathy, the ability to develop meaningful and lasting friendships and partnerships, and a sense of importance and value to those around him/her. Children's social and emotional development also influences all other areas of development.
Beginning early in life, social and emotional learning (SEL) is highly important for helping preschool children to understand and manage their emotions, feel and show empathy for others, establish healthy relationships, set positive goals, and make responsible decisions.
During this year your child really starts to understand that their body, mind and emotions are their own. Your child knows the difference between feeling happy, sad, afraid or angry. Your child also shows fear of imaginary things, cares about how others act and shows affection for familiar people.
Social development is the change over time in an individual's understanding of, attitudes concerning, and behavior toward others; for example, a developmental change in how people behave with members of the other gender or their understanding of what friendship entails.
Emotional development involves learning what feelings and emotions are, understanding how and why they occur, recognising your own feelings and those of others, and developing effective ways for managing those feelings.
Social-emotional learning is the process through which children develop skills that help them understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.
Studies show that everyday experiences with parents are fundamental to a child's developing social skill-set. Parents provide a child with their very first opportunities to develop a relationship, communicate and interact. As a parent, you also model for your child every day how to interact with the people around you.
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